Anthonia's Journals

The Rebel-Chapter 3 -Chapter 3

l had invited Abbie around to my place l was cooking for her.l handed her a glass of champagne."l dont really drink" she said almost empying the glass in one mouthful.l topped up her glass."Are you trying to get me drunk"she grinned."Champagne cannot make you drunk"l smiled.

l held a strawberry to her mouth "Taste the strawberry Abbie"l said softly.Obediently she sucked on the strawberry biting alittle gazing at me."And now taste me" as l spoke l lowered my head to her and at last after many days did what l had wanted to do touched and taste the sweet honey of her lips.

l felt them tremble beneath my own as l grazed them softly.With the tip of my tongue l touched them.She trembled again and l heard the softest sigh in her throat.The kiss was long and deep exploring all the sweetness all the nectar of her mouth.The moment was exquisite and l savoured it.

l felt her quiver again vibrating through her as my arms slid around her moulding her body to mine.The swell of her breasts against me shot it's own tremer through me and l felt my body surge.The kiss deepened turning from exploration of desire quickening it's own appetite.

l gave her no time to speak l swept her up into my hold my hands slid up along herspine.l felt myself quicken a low soft moan escaped her.l felt her lean against me l was full and ready for her but she and l knew it was not.l could tell from her bewilldered look she felt out of place with what was happening.Yet her body was taking her each quivering reaction to my touch my caress was bringing her closer.Now all that was needed was to wake her to what was happening to her.

l drew back alittle easing from her and gazed down at her her lips were parted like sweet ripe strawberrys and her pupils distended and huge.l drew a single finger down her cheek feeling her quiver.She could not speak she was beyond speech and it pleased me with a deep primitive pleasure that this exquistite creature should be so hopeless to my touch.

My finger drew across her mouth feeling the gliding moistness l had aroused and then continued down the tender line of her throat to graze the now straining swell of her breast cupped in it's simple bodice.l drew the mayerial down with me heaing the soft shocked intake of her breath as her swelling breast was displayed for me.

For a moment l simply looked at the exquisite bared breast before lashes sweeping down over my eyes lowered my head to hers.l flet the peak harden in my mouth as l drew on it.Heard again the low soft helpless moan come from her.l felt a hand touch my hair trembling.l drew again on the ripeness of her mouth and felt her trembling increase the low moan of shock and pleasure came again.My body hardened more blood surging in me.My teeth closed over her her crazing her sending l knew shooting senisual flares through her that made her moan again ,aking her fingers tremble in my hair.

"Ville-" her voice was low and breathless and her eyes were wide with bemusement still but more than that with a longing in them.A desire for me that she could no longer hide.She continued to gaze helplessly up at me as l lowered her down on the silken covers on the bed as l shrugged off with rapid practised fingers the clothes that were now nothing more than an impediment and then as l came to her where she lay her hair a living flame,her body indenting the softness of the pillowed bed.One ripe rounded breast displayed for me the hem of her dress riding up over her thigh.

My breath caught even as my body surged.God she was exquisite beautiful the image unconsious helpless sensuousness that spread through me as she gazed up at me the longing the yearning bemusement rich in her gaze.Slowly l moved down beside her my fingers brushing her hair around her beautiful face.

l heard her speak wonder and disbelief in her voice"ls this a dream?ls this really happening?".Asmile parted my lips and l lowered my mouth to hers"No dream" l assured her.l tasted once more the sweet nectar of her mouth l moved on to taste her milky rounded breast their ripe and straining peaks that l teased with my lips and tongue.My hands caressed her soft thighs apart to seek and find the secret satin flesh between,that made the low gasps in her throat come again and again as my skilled gliding fingers drew from her the honeydew of her aching pleasure until she was trembling and straining beneath me her body arching to mine as l readied her for my possession.

The soft moans she gave the glistening ripeness of her sliky folds the yeilding contours of her body all told me that now she was at the moment of my long awaited fulfilment of my desire and l lifted myself over her.For one long last exquisite moment l denied myself and then no moreWith a slow absolute possession l filled her.As l did l discovered when it was far far too late to do anything other than reap the exquisite fulfilment of everything l had wanted.

"Are you angry with me/"her voice was so tentative so different it made me tense for a moment.Her face shadeowed"l should of told you l was a virgin" she said quietly her voice stricken.Something in it in the expression in her eyes stabbed at me.lf ten minutes ago if anyone had asked me if l would sleep with a virgin l would of said no but now -.

l looked down on her as she lay beneath me.My breath caught she was so beautiful.But it was more than beauty - l didn't know what it was but it was there.There in the wide clouding eyes something that reached to me.l didn't care that she had been a virgin.lt simply didn't matter.All that mattered was that she was different from the women l bedded as a glittering diamond from a hidden pearl.

When the moment of full possession had come after the momentary shock of realising just how inexperienced she was when my body had surged within hers and sudden clenching og her body around me.From the cry that had come from her throat the taut arching og her neck the blazed of shocked incandescent awareness in her eyes - then l had experienced a pleasure so exceptional so rare so complete that it had consumed me searing through me like a brand sating me so that l knew l had never before felt anything as intense with any woman.

l drew myself down to her entwining her body with mine holding her close feeling the softness of her body.l kissed softly."You were perfect"l told her my voice low and husky."Quite perfect"l said kissing her again.As l lifted my head away and gazed down smiling at her l saw her face light up as if the sun had come out in her eyes a radiance that filled her and it pleased me.

The Rebel-Chapter 2

lt's a nice summers day far too fine for sitting inside a taxi crawling through the traffic.lt would be by far quicker to get out and walk.l was late as it is.l paid the taxi driver my fair and made the rest of the way by foot.

A flicker of boredom nudged at me as l sat in the meeting.l had no reason to be bored.l was in the prime of my life a fit and healthy thrity two year old with a life style that every man in the world would envy.l had a large house filled with nice things.lve got money in the bank l traveled the world yet l felt that l was missing something.

lt was eight thiirty and l met up with friends in cobra for a drink.l tend not to go out drinking these days but it's Toms 30th so l made an effectt."Will you leave me alone?"The vehement infuriated voice just to my right drew my attention.My eyes flicked sideways as l saw the most stunning female l'd seen in a long long time.

lt was her hair that registered first a fantastic sunburst tumble of curls cascading down almost to her waist the colour of topaz caughty with rich golden light.For a moment it dazzed me taking all my attention.But then with perfectly honed instincts of the practsed connoisseur of fine women my gaze moved on to her face and stopped.

l'd seen the face before sim months before when this beautiful creature interviewed me for her book.She looked different before she looked tired and withdrawn.Not like now she was radiant her lustrous eyes and a rich sensuous mouth.

She was fizzing with exasperation her expressiove long lashed amber eyes snapping jaw set tight.l could see why two young men were blocking her way grinning glancing at each other.They were trying to get her to go with them for a drink."No leave me alone".One of the men put his hand on her's.She made to shake it off angrily but he only laughed and repeaed his unwanted invatation.

l found myself stepping towards her.l made myself known the men froze.The man dropped the girls wrist as if it had suddenly turned red hot and he and his friend bolted off."Thank you" she smiled a little."My pleasure" l smiled back at her.

l bit my lip my eyes dropped away from his face not seeing the way something flared up in his eyes.When my gaze went back to his,his expression was bland once more."lve finished the book l sent you a copy only afew days ago" "Oh well l haven't been in the office for awhile2 "That's ok"

My gaze moved downwards taking in her tall slender figure the beautiful sweel of her breasts her narrow waist and hips and her long legs.Suddenly thanks to this extiaordinarily beautiful girl like had become a lot more interesting.

The next day l went into the office and picked up the copy of the book.l couldn't put it down l found out Abbies number and called her."Oh hi can l speak to Abbie2 "Hello this is Abbie""Hi it's Ville lve got the book""Hi what do you think""lt's very interesting l was wondering if you'd like to go for a coffee sometime""Sure lm free this Thursday if thats any good for you""Sure about ten say at Waynes coffee shop""Yeah l know it see you there then""Yeah ok bye" "Bye"she said before hanging up.l couldnt wait for that day to come.lt was only for a coffee but at least l'd be in her company again.

The Rebel-Chapter 1-PG

l loved music ever since l could remember l had the normal teenage crushes my first ever concert l went too was to see the Norweigin babd a-ha.l loved the lead singer Morten Harket like most teenage girls in my school.l had an older brother his tatse in music was totally different.He was into rock music bands like lggy Pop,Black Sabbath even punk bands like The Sex Pistols.l didn't think much to my brothers tatse in music to me it was just noise horrible noise at that.

lt wasn't until l got into my late teens early 20's that l started to listen to rock music.When my then boyfriend liked that kind of musicl met Danny my then boyfriend at college when l was studying to be a journalist.lt's funny how your music tatses can change over the years.Today l tended to listen to rock,metal music more than anything.Though l dont like thrash metal to me thats just horrible noise.

After many years of hard graft lm a successful music journalist.As well as writting for a well known rock magazine lm writting a book about a rock stars rebelious side.l had interviewed several rock stars who had kindly agreed to be interviewed.

Today l was interviewing Ville Valo the lead singer and song writter of the Finnish band HIM.HIM have many a hit over the globe they are the first Finnish band to recieve a gold record in the States.The band have sold over five and a half million records world wide.

l was already in the coffee shop waiting for Ville's arrival.l sat reading through my notes sipping on my coffee.l looked up at the clock that hung on the wall across from where l was sat.lt was ten thirtyfive.l was due to meet Ville here at quater past.l'd give him another ten minutes before leaving.

l burried my head back in my notes that was infront of me."Hello Abbie Ryan is it lm so sorry for being late"l heard a husky voice call my name.l looked up there in front of me stood the man l was soon to be interviewing.Ville wore a black jacket and the blue beanie that he always seemed to wear these days.His hair was wavey resting on his shoulders.A weeks worth of stubble surrounded his beaming smile.

"Yes hello Mr Valo pleased to meet you thank you for agreeing to take part in this interview"l said hloding my hand out to shake his."that's fine and it's Ville can l get you a drink before we begin"he smiled as he took my hand shaking it firmly."A black coffee would be great""Ok l'll be back in a minute" he smiled walking off.

Five minutes later he was sat across from me."Shall we begin"he smiled as he took a sip of his coffee.l turned my dictor phone on and the interview began.We've been chatting for over an hour now and it's going great."You were telling me before about you still haven't learned how to drive...and l thought that all rock stars had to go out and purchase a sports car immediately after your first success" " That's the American rock star right?But rock star is really not an occupation.l consider myself a musician" "Yes that's right" "Yeah a rock star is somebody who does alot of drugs,does a lot of chicks and behaves like a fucking asshole.That's not really what l aspired to be when l was growing up"

We broke off for another coffee before getting back to the interview."You know that people like Kat Von D lets say...so many people look up to her now and she's a huge success.lf you know that if a person that looked like her but didn't have a TV show was walking down the street there would be many comments" "But at the same time you shouldn't be trying to validate yourself with success.Since only a tiny amount of people ever get that kind of success.And it's a comination of so many things,So it means that you just have to find that inner strength and when people try to push you down you just fucking stand up again.You know lm struggling for happiness with what l do.lm not there but it's been an incredibly interesting journey."

"What's success to you" "Success for me means being a success in life which equals happiness and lm not happy.You have moments of enjoyment but that's very far from happiness and fulfillment in happiness.Where your heart is full and you feel safe"He said taking a sip of his coke.

The time was coming on to just gone one before the interview was finished.lt was fun l found Ville an extremly intersting character full of wisdom.He seems to me that he is a lonely man but l figured he prefered his own company with what we talked about over the last three hours."Well thank you Ville it was nice to meet you" "lt was a pleasure2 "l'll make sure you get a copy of the book""Look forward to it bye2 he smiled before making his way towards the exit.

Savage Awakenings-Chapter 30-PG13

Nancy found me crying in the kitchen "Mummy what's the matter why are you crying?""Nothing sweetheart lve been chopping onions" "Oh ok" she smiled.l couldn't put my problems on her shoulders.l had just done a pregnacy test and it's come back positive.lve got no one to blame other than myself.l just never thought how could l be so stupid.l just never thought about getting pregnant.

l was scared what Ville would say he was great with Nancy he loved her like his own.But to become a father l wasn't sure.lt was scary for me let alone Ville.Ville came up behind me putting his arms around me kissing the nape of my neck."Darline it's all arranged going around for dinner at Ma's for one tomorrow" "Ok" l sniffled.He turned me around and saw my puffy eyes."What's wrong" he asked pulling me close.

"Oh Ville lm pregnant" l wasn't sure how to tell him and here l was l just blurted it out.He just stared at me."Say something"l cried."lm sorry it's just it took me by surprise l never l never thought l'd be....come here" he said pulling me into his chest squeazing me so tightly l could hardly breath.

Ville wanted to tell everyone but l wasn't sure l was scared in case of having a miscarriage.After all l wasn't exactly a young mother to be.The older a woman got the more problems they could be.We talked that night and agreed as soon as l past the first three months we would tell our familys about the pregnancy.

lt was christmas eve Nancy came running in our bedroom at five in the morning."Wake up wake up Santa's been wake up" she said shaking Ville.l was already awake.Ville opened his sleepy eyes."Morning sweetheart"he smiled as Nancy was still shaking him."Santa's been" she said all excited."Come on sweetheart let's leave Ville to get up and go downstairs"l said.l eaned over and kissed Ville."l'll be down in a minute"he smiled.

We sat around the tree opening our presents.Nancy was really excited with all my presnets open l was gathering all the paper to put out as rubbish when Ville took hold of my hand.He held a little red box which held a sparkling diamond ring my eyes filled with tears."Darline marry me" "Y-yes l love you" l slung my arms around him and kissed him.!l love you Ville.Nancy looked at us "Are you going to be my daddy". Ville and l looked at each other then back at Nancy."Yes sweetheart"Ville told her.She came running up to him."l love you" she said as they hugged one another."l love you too sweetheart"he said before giving her a kiss.

l kept on glancing down at my ring l was so happy.l loved Ville so much l was so happy l was getting married to the man l loved with all my heart.l had a beautiful daughter and l was expecting a baby in the spring.

The end

l hope you enjoyed reading it:))))

Savage Awakenings-Chapter 29-PG13

That night when Nancy was in bed l went over to Villes.We sat and watched a film though neither of us knew what was going off with the plot.We wasn't really watching it.We was to busy kissing and touching one another.l took ville by the hand and lead the way to his bedroom.

l undressed Ville slowly taking my time l want it to last as long as possible.l laid soft kisses all over his chest as more and more flesh was revealed.l could feel his hardness through his trousers.l set free his maleness and placed him in my mouth.He moaned softly as l took him in and out of my moist mouth.Within minutes he released his salty liquid in short bursts.

l looked up at him he wiped my mouth with his thumb removing some of the liguid that escaped and placed it in his mouth."lm sorry" he said with anguish in his eyes."Sorry" l said confussed."l wanted to make love to you but lm kidding myself l can't l dont know how l managed before".

l pulled him down to sit beside me on the bed."Do you want to tell me about it?""What that lm inpotent""But your not we've proved that" "Just go your better of with out me go and find yourself a real man" He couldn't look me in the eyes.l turned his head in one sharp movement."Look at me you are a real man do you hear me dont ever say your not there's something obviously bothering you we just have to work on it and sort it out.lm not going to end it just because you can't make love to me because l know you can.A relationship is more than just sex l love you and lm not leaving you do you hear me"He wrapped his arms around me hugging me tight.l could hear him crying softly."l love you Paula"he said as je kissed my cheek before kissing me softly on the lips.

We went back downstairs talking over a coffee.He told me that he was fine everything working as a young males body should up until three years ago.He told me he was drinking alot and how bad his relationship was with Jonna."l forgave the cheating it's the physical treatment".His eyes filled with wartery tears."Hey let it out dont hold it in darline" l said squeazing his hand.lt was like someone turned a tape on."Shhh darline it's alright"l said holding him tightly.He sobbed telling me how Jonna used to beat him because of all the attention he got from his female admirers.Silent tears fell from my eyes.

"Well you've got a woman now who loves you who could never hurt you in that way".He stared at me his eyes had glassed over."l love you Ville""l love you so much" he said before he put his lips to mine.The kiss grew with passion it's not the only thing that grew.l felt him hard againist my thigh.As he kissed me he pulled my panties to the side and started touching me.l took him in my hand and felt the hardness.Helping each other out of our under garments we was soon making love on the sofa.He was so gentle.lt lasted all of twenty minutes but those minutes were filled with magic.

l left Villes just gone seven so l could get Nancy up for school.Dad was already up"Where have you been" he asked."Ville's" "Ville's" "Yes we've been talking" "Oh really is that what you call it" " Dad" "l hope you know what your doing?" "l do " l said walking off upstairs to wake Nancy for her breakfast.

Savage Awakenings-Chapter 28-PG13

Being l was dreading the atmosphere what with what happened the last time l was with Ville l brought Nancy by my side.l put some cartoons on for her while l was washing the dishes.l shouted as l entered Ville shouted that he was in the shower.

l was just about done washing the dishes when l felt hands on my waist.Bille turned me around.He dressed only in a towel his hair damp.He ran the back of his finger along my jawline"l love you Paula do you know that"he said before placing the softest of kisses on my lips.Did he just say he loved me.My heart skipped a beat."My god you don't know what you've done for me.l'll never be able to thank you"

l eased myself out of his grasp"You don't have to thank me l haven't done anything the other night well it - it was nothing we both know that2 "lt was nothing is that right?" "Yes" "So it didn't mean anything to you?" "No it was just sex" Ofcourse l was lieing it ment everything to me."Really it was just se" "Yes" l said swolling hard.

He pulled me close to him l lost myself in his kiss.My hands ran down his bare back l felt his hardness agaist my thigh he was clearly aroused.l wanted him so much l want to feel his hard maleness inside me just like l did the day before yesterday.lf it wasn't for Nancy being here l would of had him right now.

His hands wondered to my waist band of my trousers undoing the button>"Um no we can't" l siad pulling away.He leanded in kissing my neck"Why not" he wispered."Ville we can't Nan-" Just then Nancy came bouncing through the door."Mummy can l have a drink please2"Ofcourse you can popette what would you like""Juice please".Ville backed off me turned away and just walked out the room without saying a word.He even ignored Nancy and he always acknowleged her.

l got Nancy a drink and settled her back down infront of the t.v and carried on cleaning the house.Ville came down stairs 20 minutes later dressed."lm off out" he said before slamming the door behind him.l couldn't help think if l had done something wrong he seemed really angry.

By tweleve twenty l had done all my work so Nancy and l headed off home.Nancy was invited to go and stop at Kellys for a sleep over and being as it was Friday and no school tomorrow l agreed she could go.

All weekend l thought about Ville and him telling me he loved me.He didn't love me he can't ofcourse he liked me but it wasn't love.l might of behaved recklessly by having sex with him but l wanted him.lt was stupid having unprotective sex but l didn't think about it at the time.l just got carried away in his lustful hold and desire to have him.

Come Monday morning when l arrived at Ville's to clean he was up drinking coffee."There's fresh coffee" he mumbled.He was sat at the kitchen table looking through the paper."That's ok l dont want any""Suit yourself".l started work striaght away

Come lunch time l'd done all the toilets and l was in Ville's bedroom stripping the bed."Oh sorry lm l in the way" l said as Ville entered the room and started to strip off."No why would you say that it's not as if you haven't seem me naked before we've had sex you can't get anymore intimate than that"

l couldn't take my eyes of him he was aroused and l couldn't help but not look.Ville caught me looking l looked away with embarrssment.All of a sudden l felt hands being placed on me he spun me around to face him.Kissing me hard l lost my balance and fell down on the bed bringing Ville with me.His hands worked in a frenzy unbuttoning my shirt me helping him along the way.

My senses burning as his hands wondered over my body a wetness between my thighs.lt wasn't like last time this was Ville taking the lead.My hips moved in rhythm with his thrusts.My hands tangled in his hair l pulled him down to kiss him biting his lips with all the passion l had inside me.

With one grunt Ville burried his head in my neck"l love you" he wispered.l was quiet l couldn't belive what l was hearing.Ville stroked my hair as we laid in bed."l love you" he said again."l - l" then ; paused.lt wasn't as if l didn't love him l did l was just scared.Yet l wasn't sure of what."You dont do you" he said his eyes filled over with a glaze.

He turned his head for a moment."Ville-Ville look at me"l stopped what l was saying when l saw tears dampening his cheeks."Whats wrong" l said wiping a tear with my thumb."Nothing" he said pulling away from me.l grabbed his hand as he left the bed but he just yanked it away from my grasp."Look just go l'll pay you until the end of the month l think that's best"

l ran after him both standing at the top of the stairs in our nakedness.The air cooler my skin was covered in goosebumps."Ville please l- l do love you"l cried looking up to him his gaze was cold."l love you lm amazed you love me""Why2 he asked softly spoken."Look at me""l am and your beautiful" he leaned in placing a soft kiss on my dry lips making them moist once more.His tongue ran over the roof of my mouth sending a wamr feeling over my body.

He walked backwards with me in his arms."Come on lets shower" "l can't lve got to go.lve got to pick Nancy up".Ville sighed before pulling me in for a kiss.l didn't want to let him go l wanted to stay in his grasp forever he was so gentle l loved him so much and here he was he had just told me he loved me.

Savage Awakenings-Chapter 27-PG13

l woke up to find Paula gone looking at the time l realised that she would of had to take Nancy to school.l couldn't do nothing but smile.Last night was amazing.l finally felt like a man a real man.l could still smell Paula on my skin her faint smell of perfume that she left behind.All day l was working around in a joyful mood .

"Can l come to Ville's house with you this morning?"asked Nancy excitedly.l had been wondering whether l ought to turn up as usal myself." l don't know poppet"l said aware that dad was listening with interest to our conversation."Grandpa's here why not ask Kelly over to play?"" l don't want to play with Kelly" Nancy said at once."Sides her mum prob'ly taking her shopping that's what she always does when we have a lavatory day off school" " A what?" l was immediately diverted from my own problems and Nancy gave me a mischievous look."Well Mrs Hill said it was a loo day and that's what you always say when your going to the bathroom" "A lieu day" l told her as dad chuckled behind his paper."Can l come to Ville's with you please mummy" "lm going to make the bed's l'll think about it ok""Ok" Nancy was conent with that.

As l left the room l was aware that dad's eyes followed me and l guessed he was curious about my attitude too.Who could blame him?Since l got back from Ville's house the day before l had been unusually subdued and l doubted my father had accepted my assertion that l was tired.Sooner or later he was going to demand an explanation and quite honestly l didn't have one.

The truth was l didn't know how l felt l had no doubts about my feelings for Ville but that wasn't really the problem.Ville was and despite what he'd told me the day before l was having a hard time beliving it had been anything more than a spur of the moment thing.He didn't really care about me until yesturday he belived he was impotent.Not exactly the condition in which to swear undying love for anyone even Jonna.

Even remembering the two occasions before we slept together when he kissed me took on a different aspect now.With hindsight l suspected they had just been abortive attempts to prove his own lack of sexuality and he'd always drawn back before l could discover what was going on.

lt hurt to think he might have been using me in that way but l had no real proof of that and despite what had happened l might be beating myself up over nothing.Nevertheless as l shook pillows and smoothed sheets l couldn't help marvelling at the way l had behaved.l had seduced Ville Valo the Finnish rock god the known celebrity.

lt was incredible even now l had difficulty remembering how l had the nerve to behave as l did.l had never been the kind of woman to belive l was attractive to men.Well not to men like him anyway.My usual date were with people like me working men who considered a meal at the pub or a trip to the cineplex consituted an exciting evening out.

Ville wasn't like that until he went in rehab he'd attended society partys.He travels the world with his job.l'd never been out the country.l had proved to Ville that he was not the useless weaking he'd thought he was.The sex we'd shared had been wild and passionate and incredibly moving and at the end he'd been totally sated totally greatful.

" A what?" l was immediately diverted from my own problems and Nancy gave me a mischievous look."Well Mrs Hill said it was a loo day and that's what you always say when your going to the bathroom" "A lieu day" l told her as dad chuckled behind his paper."Can l come to Ville's with you please mummy" "lm going to make the bed's l'll think about it ok""Ok" Nancy was conent with that.

Savage Awakenings-Chapter26-PG13

l sat back on my heels then not sure what l ought to do.lf he was right and l stayed here l was only exacerbating his misery.But if l was right-and l was almost sure l was this might be my only chance to prove it to him.l had nothing to lose l leant forward and laid my head agaist his cheek.And as l'd anticpated Ville reacted violently.Thrusting my hand aside he attemted to roll away from me,but l was to quick for him.Moving more positively than l would have ever thought possible.l straddled him sitting across his hips and pinning him to the bed.

"What the hell-" he begun but l refused to let him ruin this by losing his temper.Putting a finger across his lips l leant towards him until my breasts brushed his chest.Then cupping them in my hands l presented them to him with a smile that was unashamedly seductive."Are you mad?"he exclaimed,but l saw him looking at me,saw the way his eyes darkened with unwilling awarenness as l shifted agaist his hip.When he realised my moistness was brushing his groin.

"What you did to me"l said huskily."Will you do it again?"l looked down at myself deliberately."l sort of-ache if you know what l mean""God Paula""Or l could do it for you"l murmured daringly and knew an incredible sense of triumph when l felt him hardening beneath me."You dont know what your talking about"he choked harsly,but l knew exactly what l was doing.l might have little experience when it came to men but l'd read enough books to know that actions definitely spoke louder than words.

"We'll see shall we?"l said not knowing where all this confidence was coming from.l leant closer so that my breasts were crushed agaist his chest now and traced his lips with my tongue."Mmmm you taste good""Paula..."There was a note of desperation in his voice,but it didn't seem to be having and effect on his bodys reactions thank goodness.

When l shuffled backwards his erection rose almost proudly from it's coarse nest of hair and l encircled it with my hand before bending to take him in my mouth.He jerked convulsively then but l didn't give up.My tongue loved the silken length of him and l got a particular pleasure from feeling his heartbeat pulsing agaist the roof of my mouth.

His skin was like velvet l tried to imagine how good it would feel to have that soft-coated hardness inside me."Please stop" Ville groaned and l knew that however conbinced l was Ville wasn't impotent as he belived.There was only one way to prove it.

Not without some trepidation l rose onto my knees and positioned myself above him.Then before he could stop me before l lost the coirage to do it l lowered myself onto him.My first thought was that l'd been too ambitious.l couldn't do this.He was too big and l was too tight and it seemed as if l simply wouldn't be capable of accommodating him.

"Paula l can't".Despite Ville's hoarsecry in protest l persisted and found to my relief that my body expanded to meet his needs.Seconds later he was nestled slickly inside me stretching me and filling me in a way l could never have imagined before this moment.

l looked at Ville half hoping to see approval in his eyes,but he had half reaed up on his pillows and there was pain,but no approbation in his expression."Paula2 he muttered his hands reaching for my hips and l guessed he was going to lift me off of him."Ville"l countered leaning forward to silence him with a kiss and he slumped back again almost helplessly.

But despite his resistance the kiss was like no other we had exchanged.lt was hot and passionate and soul deep and almost destuctive in it's intensity.lt was an open-mouthed affirmation of how good we were together and almost without me being aware of what l was doing l began to move.

With my hands pressed on the pillows at either side of Ville's head my first foray was almost tentative.But it was so good it made me feel so good that l repeated the exercise.Although l was sure Ville still belived l was wasting my time he couldn't prevent his own automatic participation.

The kisses grew hotter wetter more and more uncontrolled.Pretty soon l was reaing back to ride him like the stallon he really was,and as if Ville at last belived that there might-there just might be something in what l'd asserted.He rolled me over and took over the dominant position.

l lost count of how many times l climaxed during that wild possession.At least three times that l knew of before Ville himself gained his release.And again his release he did trembling and sweating.But superbly replete at last.

He laid at the side of me unable to catch his breath.He moved close to me kissing me soflty on the lips.He laid there stroking my hair as his lips touched mine.Neither of us saying anything we just laid in each others arms.l couldn't belive what just happened.l took things to far l know l had.Once he fell asleep l left.

Savage Awakenings-Chapter 25-PG13

Dressed in a black figure hugging dress and black knee high boots my hair up l headed around to Ville's.l wasn't sure where we was going.l was just told to be at his place for seven."Hi" l said as the door opened and he was standing before me.He was dressed in black trousers and a black shirt.He looked more handsome than he'd ever been."You look beauiful darline"he smiled."Shall we" he said grabbing his coat shutting the door.

He took my hand as we walked down the path"l thought we could walk a little"We walked down to the harbourWhere we went aboard a boat with candle lights and a glass roof.lt was so romantic l looked in amazment.He could see l was impressed.l could hardly eat l just picked at my food."You dont like it darline" he said softly."No it's fine"

After we finished eatting we went on deck taking in the night air.He stood behind me he put his hands on my shoulders turning me around to face him.He reatched in his jacket pocket pulling out a box."Happy Birthday" he said handing it over followed by a soft kiss.l opened it to find a sparkling heart necklace with Diamonds."Ville it's beautiful".He took the box from me"Her let me" he spun me and placed it around my neck.

l turned back around to face him l put my hands around his neck and pulled him near and placed my lips aginst the fullness of his.l slid my tongue seductively between his open lips.He placed his arms around me resting his hands lightly on my bottom.

l pulled away gazing into his eyes"l want too l" l couldn't get the words out.Here l was with the man l wanted so much yet l couldn't tell him."How about coffee at mine" he smiled with a magical glint in his eyes.l smiled pulling him kissing him again."What are we waiting for"

Back at Ville's leaving the coffee as neither of us really wanted coffee we went upstairs to the bedroom.l grabbed his shirt pulling him too me.l started ripping his buttons open.He held my hands"Slow down there's no rush enjoy it" he kissed my neck with soft kisses running his hands up and down my back.

He helped me slip out my dress laying kisses on my skin as more and more skin was revealed.He laid me down gently on the bed.l got under the bedsheets and removed my underwear.He undressed quickly.He wasn't fully erect but l could see he was aroused.

He joined me in bed kissing me on the lips making his way down my neck where he sucked gently.My body was on fire as he ran his hands over my body.He stopped when he was at the top of my thighs.He placed his fingers inside me moving them around.He pulled them out and placed them in his mouth sucking them."Mmm lve got to have more of that"

He moved down the bed and placed his head between my thighs.Just like before fire was burning through my body but somehow it was more intense.Softly moaning as l ran my hands through his hair pushing slightly down.My moans got louder as l came to a climax.

Ville slowly moved back up the bed kissing every inch of me before we was once again facing each other."Paula" he spoke my name as he kissed me.His eyes filled with desire.He wanted me as much as l wanted him.

l circled his mouth with my tongue his lips parted almost automatically.He liked it l assured myself.With instinctive daring l dipped my tongue into his mouth letting it slide the length of his in a tentative exploration.

A feeling not unlike exulatation griiped me when l felt his response.His quickening breathing filled my nose and mouth filling my lungs.l felt as if l was drowing in the scent and feel of him.

Dipping my head even lower l bit one of his hard nipples and the sound he made was definitely not in protest.l ran my hand down to his erect manlyness.l wrapped my hands around him slowly caressing him."L'll be back in a minute" l said kissing him.l had to go to the bathroom to releave myself.

Coming back l kissed him hard before dropping a chain of moist kisses down his chest to his flat stomach.My fingers moved down towards his groin his reaction was much different from minutes before.His hand shout out and trapped my fingers in an iron-hand grasp and in a muffled undertone he grated"No".l ignored his plea and carried on."l said no" he said bluntly.

l moved up the bed to face him."You want me"l said my voice low.He closed his eyes as if he couldn't bear to let me see the truth."You do you want me l know you do" l insisted.l couldn't think why he was acting hot and cold all the time.Maybe it had something to do with Jonna."lm not asking you to make a commitment l realise you and Jonna-""lt's not Jonna not in the way you think anyway"he snarled.

Perhaps he didn't want to tell me.But then in a hoarse voice he said"Ofcourse l want you dammit l'd give anything to have you if l could."He broke off staring at me with tortured eyes."But l can't do you understand?l can't lm importent Paula.Yes there are times that l can have sex but it last minutes.That's why l can't make love to you as l want to belive me Paula l really want to make love to you but l can't"

The silence that followed his outburst was significant only for it's breuity."l don't understand l dont belive it""Belive it" Ville spoke heavily"Do you think l'd make something like that up""But-you were aroused-""Only slightly""No" l wouldn't have it."l held you,you was hard throbbing""No""l know what l felt Ville" l cried but he closed his eyes again as this was all too much for him to bear.

"Just-just leave"he said tiredly and now when l glanced towards his groin l saw he had some reason for his despair.He was soft and flaccid again the power of his erction destroyed by his own disbelief.

Savage Awakenings -Chapter 24-PG13

l woke up with a banging head l blinked squinting my eyes.l was in Ville's bedroom.l looked around and saw my costume on the floor.l looked under the bedsheets l wasn't completly naked l still had my panties on thank goodness.

l heard a wrapping at the door before it opened.in walked Ville carrying a try of toast and coffee."lm afraid toast is all l can offer you"he said sitting down on the bed."That's ok lm sorry l can't face it anyway l'll take the coffee though".

His eyes still had last nights eyeliner on but it was all smudge like.l couldn't help but wonder if we did anything."Errr what am l doing in your bed.We didn't"Ville stepped in"No we didn't l was the perfect gental man.You had way to much to drink l thought it be easier to bring you back here than take you home.You dont remember a thing?""No" l shook my head."Well it's a good job l am a gentalmen then even though l could of smacked your arse for puking all over me" he smiled wickedly."l didn't lm so sorry" "lt's fine dont worry about it.lve put some sweats and a T-shirt in the bathroom l thought you'd might like to put them on l didn't think you'd like walking back home in the costume""Thanks l'll just finish my coffee and l';; be out your way""No rush take your time" Ville said standing he left me to drink my coffee and sort myself out.

Ten minutes later l joined Ville in the kitchen every step l took hurt my pounding head."l shouldn't of drank so much" l was surposed to be working today too""Look go home get some rest l can do without you" "But-but""But nothing go home your in no fit state to work" he said calmly with his hands placed lightly on my shoulders."lf your sure""Go Paula" he smiled showing little teeth."Ok thanks"

Being as l never worked yesturday l was spending the morning around at Ville's cleaning.Nancy was helping following me around the room with a little duster dusting where l sprayed the polish.

As soon as Nancy saw Ville she went running up to him wrapping her arms around him."Ville""Hello sweetheart""lt's mummys birthday wednesday she'll be 30"l looked at her then at Ville.His smile spread wide across his face.

When it came to work Monday instead of the mess that l always found it wasn't so bad.Either Ville had started to get his act together which l highly doubt it or he hadn't been here all weekend.Saying that l was here Saturday cleaning.

l didn't see Ville all day he was out somewhere.l was just about to leave when he came bounding through the front door out of breath."Good your still here"he said he pulled out his inhaler he sucked on it and pointed at me."Dont go stay and have a coffee" he said before he had another squirt of his medicine."Are you ok" l said worryingly.

"Yeah lm fine just abit out of breath from running from the bus stop l didn't want to miss you so how about that coffee""You didn't want to miss me why have l done something wrong?""No just wanted a chat"

We sat in the kitchen drinking coffee and nibbling on biscuits."So are you doing anything special on your birthday"he asked leaning back in his seat."Special oh you mean for my birthday no l'd rarther forget it if anything" "Forget it why because it's the big 3.0.Well lm not having that l know it's short notice and l should of asked before but could you get a babysitter""l dont know why" "Because l'd like to take you out" "Ok l'll see what l can do""Great".l wasn't going to turn down the offer of being alone with him.